


Betrachten Sie mich als einen Freund

by dianysus, ghstboy



Category: Elisabeth - Levay/Kunze
Genre: Character Development, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Slow Burn, Some things might be historically inaccurate, a hell of a development, but that's not a surprise, i changed my mind there will be angst, light angst maybe?, like the absence of Mary Vetsera, not relationship angst but well..., the slowest slow burn honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-04 01:29:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10979538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dianysus/pseuds/dianysus, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghstboy/pseuds/ghstboy
Summary: Twenty years are as short as the blink of an eye for who lives eternally, but enough to make great changes.





	1. 1868

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I'm trying to get into writing again after a while, with my first multichapter thing.  
> I'm writing this mostly to give Death some development instead of interpreting him as cold (and basically a dick) as it's easy to do. Thanks to my boyfriend for helping me with this, one day i'll learn how to mention you properly.  
> The chapters won't be really long, even though the lenght might vary, and each one will be an episode set in a different year, so the chapters will be 20, more or less.  
> edit: writing a chapter per year might result boring, so the chapter will be less than 20

" I'm strong enough on my own, I don't need you, I never will." Elisabeth was wearing her empress façade, chin high and icy glare, her beauty has always been her most powerful weapon. She has changed since Death met her 16 years before, then she was only a girl, reckless, rebellious, full of life, who fell into his arms and instantly attracted him, and he let her live, infatuated with her vitality and sure that his love would have been reciprocated.  
In that moment he could feel only anger, as much as he hated not having the last word he decided that storming out of her room slamming the door was the best option.  
As soon as Death was outside the empress' bedroom he heard a small voice coming from a few rooms away, the noise of the door slamming must have woken up the little prince. Death had never met the child, he heard of his birth ten years before, like all the empire, but never bothered to pay him any attention. Curiosity, however, has always been one of his fatal flaws, not that he was going to admit it. He followed the sound of that little voice, the child was calling for his mother, Death sneaked into the room, the child was sitting on his bed, looking ridiculously small while softly sobbing with his face buried in his hands, as to cover his eyes to not see the darkness surrounding him.  
Death's curiosity won against his usual indifference and he found himself approaching the child, who was still calling for his mother.  
"Don't call her, she can't hear you" he said softly while sitting on the bed, the child, that hadn't noticed him before, gasped in surprise.  
"Who are you?" Rudolf asked with eyes wide, he didn't look scared, Death observed, if anything he looked confused. Death smiled at him, leaning a little closer to him, as if he was going to tell him a secret "I'm a friend" he said as he was about to get up, children had always fascinated him, so fragile and yet so careless, far more interesting than adults. He felt the child's little hand tugging at his sleeve, "can you stay with me? Please? And my name is Rudolf" the child said wiping his tears away with his free hand "I'm tired of being alone." he continued. Death laughed at Rudolf's attempt to hide the fact that he'd been crying "Are you afraid of the dark?" he asked with a mocking grin. Rudolf suddenly stood up on the bed in front of him, looking outraged.  
"No, I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm strong, I'm going to be a soldier, yesterday I even beat a cat to death!" he said proudly, Death couldn't help but laugh again, even louder than before, he was surprised of how much fun he was having talking to that child, the anger left by the argument with Elisabeth was disappearing quickly.  
"Don't laugh at me!" exclaimed the little prince poking his shoulder, Death stopped laughing, but couldn't get that amused smile out of his face, "I admit it, sometimes I prefer to be soft, but I'm a prince, a prince can't be soft" Rudolf concluded, sitting back on his bed.  
Death found himself opening his arms as to invite the little prince into a hug, and the child accepted his invitation. Death didn't even think of what he was doing, he just followed his instinct and stroked Rudolf's hair until he fell asleep in his arms, then tucked him under the blankets, when he reached the door to finally leave he heard the child's voice once again, "will you ever come back?" the prince asked sleepily, and Death couldn't help but give him a fond smile, "anytime you want, just call me and I'll come to you" he said while walking through the door.  
That was the first of many nights spent together.


	2. 1869

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a little longer than the first one, is based on some headcanons i wrote with my boyfriend (i might as well add him as a co-creator).  
> the next one will be set four years after this one because going from writing only one shots to a 20 chapters thing it's a bit too much for me, be patient.

Death had been visiting the little prince for a year, the first few times he waited for Rudolf's call, but after a few weeeks he felt free to come and go as he pleased, unless specifically requested otherwise. Most of the times it was after an argument with Elisabeth, that became more and more frequent, the child's company was soothing, he would tell Death about his day, the new things he learned, his plans for the next day, and Death just had to listen and say a couple words every now and then but he mostly stayed silent, smilig at the prince's enthusiasm.  
But boredom wasn't that easy to avoid, Rudolf's days were kind of monotone and after several months there wasn't anything new to tell his friend, but he was a child, and children can turn even the most boring situation in a game.  
That's how Death was introduced to the magnificent game of hide and seek.  
"You never played this as a child?" Rudolf asked before starting to play, Death laughed, rolling his eyes "I've never been a child."  
Rudolf didn't seem impressed by this statement, he accepted it as the most natural thing in the world, this surprised Death, he assumed that the prince would have had some kind of reaction to a revelation such as that. Rudolf noticed his surprise and gave him a questioaning look "were you expecting me to be scared? I figured out long ago that you're not human, otherwise you wouldn't be here,they wouldn't have let you in". The prince's nonchalance left Death speechless, it took him some moments to actually be able to say something: "explain the rules".  
Rudolf smiled at him and started to explain the rules excitedly "It's simple! i count to thirty and you hide, then I have to look for you, you can hide anywhere in the palace except for my parents' room, okay?" Death nodded, that seemed like a simple game to play. The prince covered his eyes and started counting, Death looked around for a place to hide, he was determined to win this game, he couldn't lose against a child. He found the perfect spot on top of the child's closet, it was high enough to hide him from the prince's sight, he sat there with his legs crossed, trying to not laugh when Rudolf started looking under the bed and behind the heavy courtains, wwatching the kid look for him, determinated to win that silly game, was really entretaining, when the prince opened the closet Death couldn't help but laugh,and Rudolf found his hiding spot.  
"That's not fair!" the prince complained,"you're not allowed to use tour powers to hide in strange places!"  
Death gave him one of his amused looks "why not? it's not against the rules, I should be allowed to use my talents", the prince didn't seem satisfied by his friend's answer, "but i don't have those talents," he argued "so it's not fair, because we're not playin as equals".  
Death was once again left speechless by the child's way of thinking, he sure wasn't expecting the little prince to have this kind of ideas, why would the son of the emperor care about equality? He was still so young and naive, his innocence was fascinating, that young boy filled Death with curiosity like no other human ever did, not even Elisabeth.  
He decided to voice his untold question, coming off more bitter than intended "Since when the royal family cares about equality?"  
The young prince looked at him, eyebrow rised and arms crossed on his chest, a pose that he'd surely seen his mother doing "I'm not the royal family, I'm just Rudolf" he stated in a tone that didn't leave space for replies or useless comments, and this time not having the last word didn't bother Death, the prince's points were not debatable and extremely smart for an eleven year old, he couldn't disagree, not that he wanted to.  
Death jumped down of the closet, lading soundlessly in front of Rudolf, kneeling to be at his eyes level "I like the way you talk, you'll be a great emperor one day" he said with a smile, Rudolf didn't look as fond on the thought "you're the only one who thinks so" he whispered sadly, looking away. Death felt somethig strange, a foreign sensation of discomfort, maybe sadness? Seeing Rudolf's sadness was making him sad as well? He tried to ignore it.  
"I believe in you, you'll be the best emperor" he said softly, brushing the prince's hair away from his eyes "now it's late, you should sleep, a prince should be well rested" Rudolf nodded and climbed on his bed "thank you" he said as he pulled the blanket on himself.  
Death approached the door, waving goodbye, but stopped when he heard the prince's small voice "You cheated and I won anyway" he said, directing his mocking grin at Death, that pretended to be offended. Rudolf was already asleep when his friend left his room and didn't hear the laugh echoing in the corridors of the palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are more than encouraged!


	3. 1873

Death had met his friend five years before, a blink of an eye for an immortal creature like him, so seeing how much Rudolf had changed was almost shocking for him, the child had become a young man, now as tall as him, if not already taller, and was starting to look even more like his mother. His personality hadn't changed much though, he was still the innocent and idealist child he was years before, with the only difference that he had started forming his opinions and supporting them with informations and ideas found in the books he started hiding in his bedroom, philosophy books starting from ancient Greece to the current ideology, economy books bought secretly on his rare trips alone in the city, and some art history books for his free time. Most of said free time was spent with Death, that with time realised that he enjoyed spending time with the prince, not as a distraction after an argument with the empress, not anymore, he felt like this friendship was something they both needed.  
The long conversations with the prince had a cathartic effect on Death, he was learning new things about humans and himself, he was starting to understand emotions and tell them apart, he learned to associate a name to the different feelings that were becoming easier to separate from each other. He couldn't feel them all, they seemed an infinite number and most of them were, in his opinion, useless, he was convinced that knowing love and hate was enough, he never needed anything else.  
But he couldn't deny the positive feelings he had for his friend, he enjoyed his company, so what he felt surely wasn't hate, but those feelings were much different from what he felt for Elisabeth, so it couldn't be love. Elisabeth made him feel like his whole physical body was on fire, it was intense and painful, a constant challenge and a matter of pride, he often wondered if once the battle was won his love for Elisabeth would fade, he was almost certain that that was their fate.   
His feelings for Rudolf were different, the raging fire Elisabeth made him feel was reduced to a tiny flame, a pleasant warmth in his chest, there was no challenge, no pride, because there was nothing to argue about, it was easy for them to accept each other's ideas or even debate without falling into useless arguments, they understood each other well. Death couldn't name that feeling, it wasn't strong enough to be love, but really far from being hate.  
Feelings weren't the only things Death was discovering, humans' physical reactions to said feelings really fascinated him, he had seen Rudolf jump after hearing sudden noises, cry of sadness and blush of embarrassment, rarely even cry of laughter.  
He had noticed the involuntary reactions to tiredness, Rudolf's eyelids seemed heavier when he was tired, dark circles appeared under his eyes and sometimes he even seemed paler.  
But the most fascinating thing for Death was breathing, how deep breaths could calm humans down, how they gasped in surprise and the annoyed sighs.  
He was focusing on Rudolf's breath as he was rambling about the last book he had read, not really listening to his words, lost in his own thoughts, he realised Rudolf had stopped talking when the boy put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a questoning look.  
«You zoned out» the prince said, quite surprised, Death looked at him confused, looking for an excuse or an explaination «I was thinking» he finally said, making up excuses was useless, he didn't need to lie to Rudolf.  
The prince didn't seem angry «What were you thinking about?» he asked. That was another thing Death liked about Rudolf, he was always ready to listen.  
«I know it sounds silly, but I never noticed some things about humans before meeting you, I just never paid much attention» he said looking away, hr mentally named what he was feeling in that moment, it was embarrassment, he didn't like it, «It's strange how I still have a lot to learn, despite having existed for hundreds of thousands of years.» he concluded.  
He was relieved when he didn't see judgment in his friend's face, he was not used to feel so many things, he wondered how humans did that for all their lives, he let out a long breath.  
«Are you aware of what you just did?» Rudolf asked with a fond smile, Death looked at him in surprise, then smiled back at his friend «I spend too much time with you, a few years and you'll turn me into a human being» he joked, though the joke hid a real doubt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing slight existential crisis, also Death's idea of love is fucked up and was painful to write, because it's just...so wrong.  
> hope you enjoyed this chapter, comments are more than welcome!


	4. 1876

That night Death had to skip his usual appointment with Rudolf, Elisabeth had called him. He appeared into her room and sat on the armchair near her writing desk, the empress seemed upset, like most of the times when Death visited her.  
Elisabeth stared at him, there was a silent accusation in her eyes, "I know what you're doing, I called you because I want you to stay away from my son" she finally said, her voice was as icy as her eyes. Death froze but didn't say anything, so Elisabeth continued "Rudolf shouldn't be involved in this, if you think that you can make me jealous or scare me into loving you, you're wrong, because I-" she stopped as Death got up from the armchair and approached her "not everything is about you, Elisabeth, I'm not doing this for you, whatever you think this is" he said harshly, the empress' assumption had hurt him more than expected.   
"I don't know what you do to him, but it can't be anything good" she stopped "and if it's not about me, why do you waste your time with him?"  
Death felt his anger rising once again "if you bothered to spend time with him you'd know it's not wasted" he said rising his voice and getting closer to her, Elisabeth kept looking at him coldly, with her usual aurea of superiority "you're hurting him" she whispered a few inches away from his face.   
Death turned around and went back to the armchair "are you sure? How would you know?" he insisted.   
Elisabeth's calm was quickly fading "nothing good comes from you" she replied angrily. Those words hurt Death enough to make it necessary for him to take a few breaths to calm down, a trick Rudolf though him a few months before, he was determined to prove her wrong.  
"He's been writing, did you know that?" He began "He has a lot of ideas, theories, and they're really good, he's like you but he doesn't run away from what he doesn't like, he looks for a solution and refuses to rest until he finds one. So many times I had to remind him to sleep or even take a break, have you ever bothered in the last few years to ask him how he feels? No, you didn't, so don't tell me I'm the one who's hurting him." his voice was nothing more than a whisper when he finished his sentence.   
Elisabeth's eyes showed her disbelief, she had never seen Death like this, he looked almost vulnerable, not like the powerful eternal creature he was, he just looked like a young man, like every other man she met in her life.  
"This conversation is over, leave" she ordered, her tone didn't accept replies, Death was glad to obey. He left the room, maybe it wasn't too late to see Rudolf, the prince had the bad habit of staying up late, reading or writing, even when his friend wasn't with him, the suffused light coming from under the door of his room gave Death the confirmation he needed.  
He entered the room and found Rudolf sitting at his desk, surrounded by books, papers and pens, the ink stains on his figers were a sign that he'd been writing for a long time.  
«I thought you wouldn't come tonight» the prince said leaning back on his chair and rubbing his eyes. Death sat on the floor near him, like he did most of the times when Rudolf was busy writing «I had to deal with a... thing, were you waiting for me?» he asked after excusing himself, the prince looked really tired and Death suspected that the need to write was only part of the reason he didn't go to sleep.  
«Is mom the thing you had to deal with?» Rudolf asked, but he didn't really need an answer «I heard you two arguing».  
Death didn't want to talk about it, so decided to change the subject to something Rudolf would have been happy to talk about, he got up from the floor and looked at the desk from above the prince's shoulders, resting his chin on his head « How's the writing going?»  
Rudolf leaned back even more, resting his shoulders against Death's chest « It's going well, I keep changing words, I'm never fully satisfied, but I think I'll be able to publish the pamphlet next year, anonymously, what do you think?»   
Death looked at the papers on the messy desk «I think it's a great idea, I'm really proud of you.»   
Rudolf smiled at his friend, but was interrupted by a yawn, Death rolled his eyes «Why do I always have to remind you to sleep? You're eighteen, you should know when it's time to rest» he scolded him ironically, considering that usually he was the reason the prince stayed up so late.  
Rudolf laughed and got up from the chair «Okay, I'll sleep, do you want to sleep here too?» he asked nonchalantly, approaching his bed. Death rolled his eyes once again «Silly boy, I don't need sleep, goodnight my prince» he said, and as he approached the door he heard his friend saying goodnight to him too. After all that night could have been worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lost the count of how many times i said no homo writing this.  
> As always, comments are encouraged!


	5. 1878

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is longer than the first fic i wrote, holy shit

Rudolf was twenty, he had travelled across Europe in the past two years, his friend was always by his side, Death was the only stable presence in his life, his parents were always busy, not that he could blame them, being emperors is a full time job, no wonder they had better things to do instead of spending time with him, he was an adult and everyione expected him to be able to stay by himself. His sisters were always away too, Gisela was married and living her life, Valerie was always with their mother, it was easy for him to feel lonely the few times his friend wasn't with him. Rudolf often thought about their friendship from a pilosophical or even poetic point of view, he was a young man who befriended Death himself during his childhood, poets would have called him a tormented soul or something similar, but poets didn't know Death, they knew an idea, a concept, not the person he was, they didn't know the man that looked just like a normal boy in his twenties, if it wasn't for the unnaturally pale skin and ethereal beauty. Rudolf could talk for hours about his beauty, his delicate face, somehow both masculine and feminine at the same time, his fair hair that reached his shoulders, a style unusual for a man but that made him look even more interesting, he didn't fit in the typical idea of masculine beauty, he wasn't tall or particularly strong looking, he looked more like one of those elves or fairies described in fairytales, if it wasn't for the usually black clothes, his smile, his real genuine smile, was probably his most beautiful trait, for the first few years he tried to hide it behind fake sarcastic grins, then he started feeling comfortable enough to show his joy, or maybe finally learned what joy really is and understood that it's not something that has to be hidden. Rudolf could tell that Death had learned a lot about feeligs since they met, the coldness he had shown when they first met had almost completely faded, and in the past couple of years he had grown more comfortable with phisycal affection too, casual touches, like leaning on each other while reading or playing distractly with each other's hands while talking about nothing.Death had shown him so much affection in the past ten years without expecting anything back, he was one of the few pwople who genuinely cared about him, if not the only one, this made Rudolf feel strange, not in a negative way, but it was a feeling way too tender to have for another man, he felt like this friendship wasn't enough anymore, he had been feeling like this for a long time, and he was really scared of this, the best word to describe that feeling floated in his head constantly, but he always tried to suppress it, he was afraid of being judged for feeling that for a man, for a creature that presented as a man.It wasn't a religious problem, he barely believed in God and the church anymore, but he already knew that his father wanted him to marry some kind of princess or noble woman for political reasons, if his father knew about his feelings he would have been really disappointed. He was overthinking about this while sitting on his bed, not really reading the book he kept on his legs, he tried to let the prhibited word form in his head,love, it sounded so strange, but he was painfully aware that it was the right word. The most scary thing was not knowing if Death felt the same, or even if Death knew what romantic love is, he had learned so much through the years but some things are difficult to understand, and love is really complicated. Rudolf decided that talking about it would have been the best option, after all he never felt embarrassed talking to his friend, neither he ever felt judged, but he was still nervous, he looked at the clock on his desk, Death was probably about to arrive. Death didn't make him wait long, Rudolf heard the usual knock at the door and told him to get in, Death looked relaxed, apparently he hadn't seen Elisabeth much in the past few months and his mood had visibly improved «Good evening my dear prince» he greeted him with one of his real smiles and Rudolf couldn't help but smile back, then silently invited him to sit beside him on the edge of the bed, he didn't really know how to enter into the subject. Death must have noticed his discomfort and gave him a concerned look «Something is bothering you, do you want to talk about it?» he asked takin Rudolf's hand in his and playing with his fingers. The prince sighed and tried to find the right words, «Do you know what love is? do you have an idea or a theory?» he finally asked. Death looked confused «I wasn't expecting this kind of question,» he began « But I think I know what love is, I think it's that burning feeling in your chest, that makes your whole body hurt, it's some kind of challenge, rivality, really similar to anger but mixed with attraction, it's not a nice feeling» he axplained, still looking at Rudolf's hand. Rudolf found this answer confusing and quite sad from his point of view, he didn't know what to say. Death didn't like that silence, it felt heavy and uncomfortable, «What is your idea of love?» he asked, to keep the conversation going. Rudolf took a deep breath, trying to look calm «I don't think love should be painful, it shouldn't feel like a violent flame, if you want to use fire as a metaphor I'd compare it to a candle, warm but not aggressive, you should feel comfortable with the person you love, understand each other» Rudolf stopped for a moment when he felt Death's head resting on his shoulder, then started talking again «love shouldn't be confrontation and hostility, it should be the opposite of anger, it should be a nice feeling» he concluded.Death was unusually still, he was clearly thinking about what he just heard, Rudolf was willing to give him all the time he needed to process the new informations. After a few seconds death spoke, his voice barely hid his confusion «That's so strange, what you described is exactly what I feel when I'm with you», Rudolf shifted away, it was an instinctive reaction to the shock «Are you sure of what you just said? I know love is difficult to understand, so you might just be confused-» he had to stop when Death cut him off «I've been feeling like this for a while, it became really strong in the past two years or so, I couldn't find an explaination to this kind of feelings because my idea of love was really negative, and I never felt anything negative for you, not even once, I was confused before, now everything is clear, I believe i'm in love with you, I don't expect you to love me back, and I understand if you want me to leave, I'm sorry» he said trying to not look directly at Rudolf, the prince couldn't help but notice how his friend really changed in ten years, he remembered hearing the arguments with his mother, all the anger in Death's voice, and never an apology, ever, but with time he became more human than most people Rudolf knew. «I don't want you to leave» he tried to reassure him «The reason why I asked you about love was because I've had this feelings for a while, but I was too scared to name them, I was mostly afraid that you wouldn't feel the same, because I didn't want to lose you» Rudolf could see the relief in Death's face and felt like a huge weight had been removed from his chest.«I'll never leave you» Death said as he pulled Rudolf into a hug, he had never seen Death so overwhelmed, but he could understand him, that was a new situation, feeling so much after millenia of feeling almost nothing must have been shocking.«Would I die if I kissed you?» Rudolf asked, he had wanted to kiss him for so long, but didn't want to risk his life. Death laughed softly against him «Silly boy, I exist in the limits of time and fate, and it's not your time yet, unless you want it to be, but I doubt this» that explaination was enough for Rudolf, he pressed a soft kiss on Death's lips, he was cold but his lips were soft and made the kiss pleasant, Rudolf wondered how things would have changed between them,he assumed they wouldn't have changed much, they already were affectonate, they'd probably just become more intimate, and he loved the idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***No chance no way I won't say it, no no  
> (You swoon you sigh why deny it oh oh)  
> It's too cliche I won't say I'm in love***  
> sorry i had to quote hercules (it's my boyfriend's fault)  
> hope you liked this sappy thingh because now that they're happy things can only go downhill :)  
> comments are always encouraged!


	6. 1881

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wenn ich dein spiegel war, if you know what i mean

Having a lover like Death was a wonderful experience for Rudolf, the past three years had been filled with a kind of love never experienced before, from both a physical and sentimental point of view. Death had discovered the full potential of his physical body, thanks to his prince, locked in his room trying to not make noise. They both felt free to be even more affectionate than before, Rudolf had spent many nights reading in Death's arms, in those moments he could forget his problems, at least for a few hours he wasn't the crown prince of Austria, he was just Death's prince.  
But as soon as the day started his problems came back, not giving him peace, he had no political power, his ideas were frowned upon by the whole court, and his father had chosen a wife for him. Marriage had never been in his thoughts, even before falling in love with Death, he couldn't see himself married to a woman just for political reasons, but that wasn't his choice to make, he was just a marionette in the hands of the empire.  
Rudolf had met Stephanie once, she was the average woman of court, submissive and conservative, they had nothing in common, maybe that was the reason why his father choose her. He had tried to oppose to his father, to confront him directly and ask him to give him more time because he wasn't ready for marriage or any excuse he could find, but the emperor was irremovable.  
Rudolf hadn't told Death about the engagement yet, his lover had made great progresses in the past years but he was still learning self control, anger wasn't good for him, jealousy could create many problems, his reaction to the bad news could have been terrible, but Rudolf couldn't hide it for a long time, it felt like betrayal.  
Death appeared in his room as many times before and went to sit beside Rudolf on the bed with his legs crossed and pressed a kiss on the prince's cheek, he must had noticed that something was wrong because he opened his arms to invite him into a hug, like he did for the first time more than a decade before. Rudolf accepted the invitation, he felt the words pressing on his chest, pushing to get out of his mouth «I'm engaged» he finally said, softly against Death's shoulder, he couldn't hide it anymore and was ready to deal with Death's reaction.  
The reaction didn't came, the prince was expecting anger, yelling and maybe storming out of his room, none of this happened, Death was still hugging him and stroking his hair «I knew this would happen someday, you're a prince, that's your destiny, but i didn't know it would happen that early» he said, there was no anger in his voice, only a bit of sadness, «I know it's not your choice, and I guess you tried to oppose to this decision so I can't blame you or be angry at you, just promise me you won't fall in love with her» he stopped talking and kissed his prince's forehead before giving him a sad smile.  
«I will try to talk to my mother, she always had a great influence on my father, she's the only one who can help me with this, I will do it tomorrow» Rudolf replied, caressing his face «And I'll never fall in love with Stephanie, we have nothing in common» he concluded trying to sound reassuring.  
They spent the rest of the night laying in bed, enjoying each other's presence, knowing that if Elisabeth failed to help Rudolf their time together would be significantly reduced.  
The next morning Death was still in the prince's bed as he woke up, apparently asleep, but Rudolf knew he was only pretending, or thinking, after all that was the closest thing to dreaming he could get. Rudolf tried to get his attention kissing the tip of his noise, Death opened his eyes and saw his prince almost on top of him «What a delightful way to start the day» he whispered, he liked the silence of the early mornings in the palace, in the past years he had developed the habit to stay until sunrise, every moment with Rudolf was precious, even if he was asleep.  
Rudolf got up from the bed «I'm going to talk to mom, she should be awake» he said as he started changing clothes.  
Death sat lazily on the bed, trying to straighten his clothes «Do you want me to come with you?» he wanted to do his best to help his prince, even confronting Elisabeth.  
«I think it's something I should do alone» Rudolf replied, Death just nodded.  
They walked together to Elisabeth's room, she was already awake, as predicted, and let Rudolf in, Death stayed outside, waiting and hoping for good news.  
Elisabeth was sitting in front of the mirror as she was having her hair braided, Rudolf approached her, maintaining a respectful distance.  
«Mother,» he began «It's good to talk to you again, I know you'll understand me. I'm sure you know father's decision, about the marriage with Stephanie of Belgium» Elisabeth didn't even turn her head to look at her son «I don't like that girl» she sighed, Rudolf took it as a good sign «So you agree that this marriage will be no good for me, and-» the empress cut him off with a gesture of her hand «I don't approve this marriage, but I don't approve your... affair either» she declared, the word ''affair'' bothered Rudolf more than the fact that she knew about his relationship. Rudolf decided to ignore her passive aggressive attack «So will you talk to father? Will you help me with this? Beg him to give me more time?»  
Elisabeth slowly got up from her chair, her hair was now perfectly combed «I've slipped from your father's hands long ago, and I don't beg, not even for you, now go back to your lover.»  
Rudolf left the room with a bitter taste in his mouth, Death was still waiting for him outside, he looked at his lover, who's eyes were still full of hope.  
«She abandoned me again.»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> much jealousy, Sissi?
> 
> sorry for not updating in the past two days  
> please leave a comment and let me know if my nightly writing sucks


	7. 1889 + epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! my original idea was a 20 chapters thing but it would have been boring, oh well! i did my best, enjoy!

Rudolf was tired, he had tried to make a change in his father's empire, he had written articles under pseudonyms, conspired, tried to gain the people's trust with his liberal ideas and plans to improve their lives, but it wasn't enough, the emperor had sent spies to control him, there were scandals surrounding him and the impossibility to have a future heir to the throne made it almost impossible for him to become emperor in time for save the falling empire.  
Death had seen his prince falling apart in the past years, the marriage did no good to him and limited their time together, Rudolf had to meet him far away from the palace and his constant absence caused gossip to rise, the scandals surrounding the prince seemed endless.  
Death had always supported him in his climb for the power, encouraged him when his prince seemed to lose hope and conforted him in his worst moments.  
He had learned through the years that despite being immortal and powerful there were things that even he couldn't change, he couldn't heal the wounds that Rudolf's childhood left, wounds that still hurt him after over 20 years, he couldn't force the emperor to listen to his son, or Elisabeth to show some motherly affection, he couldn't stop all the gossip and scandals, he could only love his prince, but even though love works wonders, sometimes love isn't enough.  
Life was bringing Rudolf more pain than joy, every day felt like he was struggling to get out from the bottom of a well, every time he thought he was reaching the top something pushed him down again, he grew tired of trying.  
Mayerling has been his favourite place to escape reality since the wedding, he could spend weeks there with his lover with the excuse of going hunting, but even away from Vienna he felt the pressure and the anxiety growing, he had contemplated suicide more and more often, but never talked to Death about it.  
Death, however, must have guessed the prince's wish, he avoided kissing him for fear that one of those kisses would have been the last one.  
But that day at the end of January fate had decided for him, Rudolf had reached his breaking point, and was writing his last letters.  
Death was hugging him from behind, resting his head on the price's shoulder, as he had done hundreds of times before «Are you sure of your decision?» he askes hugging him tighter and putting a hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat, he didn't want it to stop.  
Rudolf signed his last letter and leaned into Death's arms «I can't take this anymore, I want to be free, I want to be with you forever» his voice was tired, barely a whisper.  
«The other world has a complicate structure, there are some places that even I can't reach» Death said trying to hide his fear of losing his prince forever.  
Rudolf got up from the chair and reached for a silver box on the desk, taking out a gun and an iron ring, he put the ring on Death's finger, it had a golden incision: '' together beyond time''.  
«Promise that you will look for me» he said cupping Deat's face with his hands before giving him a sweet kiss, Death nodded «I promise» he said, his voice broke as a few tears started running down his face, he had never cried before, he never felt a pain so sharp, never hated so much his nature.  
Rudolf took his hand and guided him to the bed, inviting him to sit on his lap, taking a moment to appreeciate how beautiful his lover looked in the white shirt he had lent him, white made him look like an angel from a renaissence painting, a young god arrived to save him from the evil of the world.  
The prince slid his free hand under Death's shirt to let his mortal body feel the soft, cold skin for the last time, he smiled at his lover, a few seconds and all his pain would disappear, he would finally be at peace, he leaned forward, meeting Death's lips.  
They kissed for a long time, sweetly caressing each other's bodies before Rudolf put the gun at his temple «Are you ready?» he asked, when Death nodded he kissed him once again and pulled the trigger.

 

 

\-------------------------Epilogue------------------------

 

 

Elisabeth was standing in front of her son's coffin, it was already closed to not let anyone see the mortal wound on his head, the emperor had decided that saying that their son died for natural causes was a wiser choice. She felt the guilt burning her soul, if she only had listened to him, shown him the love he needed.  
She saw Death hiding in the shadows, looking at the coffin with tears in his eyes, that was her chance to redeem herself, she approached Death but he ignored her until she spoke «Please, take me now, I'm yours, you won I'm ready to love you.»  
Death didn't even look at her, he was staring at the iron ring on his finger, «Please, I beg you» Elisabeth insisted grabbing his sleeve.  
He harshly shoved her away «Too late, I don't want you, go away» he said, his words bitter as poison, Elisabeth grabbed him again «He said you had changed, show me your humanity, have mercy and take me now.»  
Death finally looked at her, his eyes were cold as ice «My humanity died with him» he said before disappearing in the shadows, it was time to look for his beloved prince, he would look through space and time to have his lover in his arms once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried writing this because i'm gay and emotional, hope you liked it! please comment and let me know what you think! you can also find me on tumblr (@stern-kind)


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